Tying the knot, getting hitched, and joining in an everlasting union of Holy Matrimony. Whether you see it as an attachment of the old ball and chain or the single greatest moment in your relationship, sooner or later, most of us will get married. I personally never thought I would ever get married. Not me. I had seen way too many failed marriages in my day to make such a mistake. Both of my parents were married numerous times, and if you asked me 5 years ago, I would swear that I would never travel down that same miserable, exploitive, and unpredictable life draining path. Well, as with all things in life that you think you “know”, most of the time you come to find out otherwise. Now, I’m getting married.
I was lucky enough to meet a woman unlike any other I have ever met before; someone who I enjoyed being around, someone who embodied absolutely everything that I found attractive in women, and most importantly, someone who truly made me happy. For the first time ever, I had met someone who made me reconsider this whole “marriage” thing. For the first time ever, I had found someone who I actually wanted to marry, and someone I wanted to spend all of my time with. I met her in America. She was a Japanese exchange student who had come to America to study English at the University in my home town. We dated for 3 years, and then when she graduated and her visa expired, she urged me to try something new and move to Japan. I admit, I was hesitant, but she made the decision somewhat easier by packing up and leaving without me, all the while encouraging me to come to Japan. I didn’t speak a word of Japanese, and knew nothing about Japanese culture, other than what I had seen on TV.
I had friends and family in America, but I knew I had no future without her. So I found a job with an ALT company (who shall remain nameless) and made the trip. I arrived with next to nothing, and even less cash. When I got here, I asked her parents for permission to marry their daughter to which they bluntly replied “no”. They said that I must first prove myself in Japan, and that meant prove that I can earn a living. This also meant prove that I could live on my own; the very thing I feared the most in a country where I didn’t speak the language. Before moving here, my girlfriend assured me that if I made the trip we would live together, but upon arriving, I soon came to realize that this wasn’t the case.
Upset, but determined, I decided to give it my all and “prove” myself. Over the next year, I struggled with foreign customs, foreign food, and foreign people of which I had never known before. One year later, I had finally crawled out of debt, found a respectable apartment, and was making do. I wanted to buy an engagement ring and surprise my girlfriend with it, but unfortunately the language barrier, amongst various other things kept me from doing just that. So, I used all that I had managed to save to take my girlfriend to a jewelry store of her choosing and let her pick out whichever engagement ring she wanted. I then used that ring to propose to her in a manner she rightfully deserved.
To my delight she accepted. But, you could tell her parents still weren’t too thrilled about the concept. It was at that time that I also finally made the move to a much better (and higher paying) company. Upon hearing this news, her parents finally gave the ok for us to marry. The next thing was researching the marriage process. For those who don’t know, it is incredibly expensive (I have heard on average about 30,000,000 yen). So be sure to start saving if you’re considering marriage.
Although we didn’t take this route (which is another story in itself), here is the cheapest and quickest way to get married in Japan, if you are an American citizen marrying a Japanese citizen. It is actually quite a simple process. First go to the American Embassy webpage http://tokyo.usembassy.gov/e/acs/tacs-7114.html and read over the information. They give you step by step instructions on how to get married as a foreigner, and if done properly, the whole process can be done in a day. If you are short on money, but still determined to be married soon, this is definitely the way to go. While it isn’t the “traditional” marriage, it is still a marriage nevertheless, and if the love is there, it is all that really matters anyway. Once you save up a little money, you can always have an official reception down the line. If anyone out there is considering marriage, I wish you all the best in the future. If anyone is considering a quick and inexpensive marriage hopefully this info helps.
