Our resident love-in-Japan writer Sara Who answers your questions on everything from dating rules to finding a partner to love, marriage and more. Got a question you’d like to ask Sara? Email it to firstname.lastname@example.org.
This week’s reader struggles to meet Japanese women and feels it might be because of his ethnicity.
How can I compete?
As an Asian guy (with intermediate level Japanese) in Japan how do I go about dating Japanese women?
If you’re a non-Asian guy (as in obviously foreign-looking) then often times you can take advantage of the attention to create connections and friendships, even with suboptimal Japanese ability. But as an Asian, you blend in, and at least on some superficial level you’re competing against the entire native population – though you lack the communication skills. How do I create that first encounter opportunity?
– Dejected Dater
I think it all comes down to the way you market yourself. As you said, even though you are Asian, you are not Japanese, so try to go for girls that are interested in foreign guys. In some ways, they’re likely to be more open-minded than conservative women who might not give you a chance – not because of the way you look – but simply because your culture is different.
This would definitely help with the language barrier as well. You did not mention your ethnicity or where you grew up, but I’m sure if you go to international parties, you can meet someone who’s going to be interested in you or your background. Be proactive. Join a group or club catering to foreigners in Japan. There are plenty!
It’s true some people have a type, but I’d say most girls would not limit themselves to one nationality or skin color.
If you haven’t done so already, why not try online dating? It’s true some people have a type, but I’d say most girls would not limit themselves to one nationality or skin color.
I know I usually find Asian men more attractive, but I would certainly not turn down an attractive non-Asian man with a great personality. I think you have a point when you say foreign guys might have it easier when they fit the stereotype, but in the end, looks are not everything. A good personality will keep us interested. Be proactive and don’t hesitate to approach a woman you like!
What do you think? Is it harder to meet Japanese women as an Asian guy? Does ethnicity factor into things on a superficial level? Got any tips for meeting people in Japan? Let us know in the comments and make sure to come back next week when Sara will answer more of your questions!