We’ve covered the highlights of Japan’s previous Kuso Bukken (translated: Crappiest Apartments) Awards before, but now that the finalists for this year have just been announced we’d like to share with you some of the best and crappiest designs yet.
After carefully looking through 683 total entries, Kuso Bukken’s adorable mascot, Grip-kun, and his team of real estate rapscallions have chosen the best (or worst?) 48 designs that they’ve named KSB48 — a play on popular girl band AKB48.
This year the people behind the awards have expanded the criteria for crappy apartments to include any buildings that meet the requisite level of crappiness, including temples and restaurants, as well as products related to the world of Kuso Bukken. There are also a couple of finalists located outside of Japan, demonstrating how crappy buildings are able to transcend boundaries of culture and nationality in this modern age.
The hallway house
Let’s start things off with a familiar face; the long corridor of an apartment from the 2015 Kuso Bukken is back with even more views and angles. It doesn’t look like anyone can squeeze through that hallway when someone’s actually sitting down in those chairs, but the decor does look very oshare (stylish).
【帰ってきたコニファーコート成城学園前Ⅱ】
コニファー？コニファーじゃないか！久しぶりだな、少し痩せたか？／俺たちの狭小住宅が帰ってきたー☝️壁じゃねえよ、家だよ家！新築時の3980万から1.8倍の7190万になって不動産市場にカムバック。売れたのかな？#クソ物件オブザイヤー2018 pic.twitter.com/Q4R0CQD1wL
— 5fret（ごふれっと）くん (@5fret) November 13, 2018
The 4-in-1
If you’re looking for a little more in your living space, why not have it all with this 4-in-1 winning combo! Save space by keeping your sink, kitchen, toilet, and bath all in the same tiny corner of your apartment:
【超コンパクトワンルーム】
セントルイスにある築112年の12戸のマンションが50戸の超コンパクトなワンルームマンションにリノベーションを果たした。部屋数を増やした秘策は風呂、洗面、トイレにキッチンまで1部屋に納める脅威の4in1！
#クソ物件オブザイヤー2018https://t.co/7ynL2HqH5Y pic.twitter.com/bRlV6LqIi8— お鯛 (@otto_morgen) November 13, 2018
Shared by twitter user @otto_morgen, this one’s actually in St Louis, Missouri and described as “Tiny CWE Studio With Unique Layout.” “Unique” is one word for it. “Totally unsanitary” might be another.
The Man on the Curtain
While this next one isn’t a crappy building per se, if you’re stuck in one then it could help you out. This “Man on the Curtain” projector is marketed to women living alone in LeoPalace apartments, which have a reputation for being cramped quarters with slightly shoddy construction.
This foolproof security system straight out of the movie Home Alone projects several images of a big, strong man to keep the baddies at bay. Choose from an array of projections, including a buff guy working out, practicing his baseball bat swing (hmm ’cause that’s a common indoor activity), and boxing.
【レオパレス、一人暮らしの女性向けに異様な商品を開発】
レオパレス21が窓に男性のシルエットを投影して住居侵入を防ぐ「Man on the Curtain」を開発。筋トレ、ボクシング、バットで素振りなど、攻めのラインナップに苦笑い。それよりアパートに防火壁つけてほしかった。#クソ物件オブザイヤー2018 pic.twitter.com/xKlC3uDX18— UU (@youx2youx2) November 16, 2018
The temple that got ghosted
Next up, Twitter user @oolong_ta tells us the sad story of Echizen Daibutsu, a Buddhist temple in a “second Kyoto” ghost town. The story goes that an overly ambitious taxi company president made the temple before his company went bankrupt in the early 90s after the economic bubble burst. ¥5.7 billion in debt, the temple was put up for auction but nobody bought it.
https://twitter.com/oolong_ta/status/1063253670991548416
Decapitated Kitty
Lastly, we have this lovely restaurant overlooking the ocean on Awaji Island in Hyogo — only it’s in the shape of a gigantic Hello Kitty head, and the inside is decorated with even more Hello Kitty heads. It’s meta in the worst way.
【巨大なキティちゃん、海を見つめる レストランが誕生】
淡路島に巨大なキティが海を見つめるレストラン「ＨＥＬＬＯ ＫＩＴＴＹ ＳＭＩＬＥ」がオープン。壁一面にキティが貼り付けられているサイコパスな部屋も。 #クソ物件オブザイヤー2018 pic.twitter.com/2IlJrPNuvs— お鯛 (@otto_morgen) November 13, 2018
Welcome to Hello Kitty hell.
This is just a small taste of what you’ll find in the finalist list for Kuso Bukken 2018. The champion of the crappiest design awards will be announced at their awards ceremony on Dec 12 — tomorrow — which we’ll update here. Which one do you think it will be?
If you are looking for an apartment in Japan, don’t forget to check out GaijinPot’s decidedly non-crappy nationwide listings, as well as our GaijinPot Housing Service which offers bilingual support for moving into and living in your new home.
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