Take our user survey here!

My Brother! (Finding Community in Unexpected Places)

It’s almost in our nature to seek out and connect with those whom we find similar to us.

By 3 min read 2

If we were back in the land of Stars and Stripes, we’d probably not even acknowledge each other in public. Yet now that we’re thousands of miles away from wherever we might have came from, it almost feels unusual for us not to mutually recognize our commonalities. Even if that recognition is just a mere head nod as we pass each other on the street.

It’s interesting how quick we can be to from bonds with others based entirely on external factors. It’s almost in our nature to seek out and connect with those whom we find similar to us. This human trait becomes a lot more noticeable in a place like Japan; where the likelihood of discovering people and experiences similar to those in one’s native land is quite rare.

Although we don’t openly admit it, a lot of us foreigners in Japan have—at the very least—one friend that is from the same country as us. Someone who we can confide in while stumbling our way through the exciting challenge known as culture shock. In my case I have these friends, and the “unofficial” black community of Tokyo.

There are times when I’m out having a drink, or even just riding the train, I’ll get approached by others of the same complexion as me. More times than not people are generally interested in getting to know me and my background, looking for common experiences to relate to. And on the rare occasion, it’s just a barber looking for new clientele.

During these conversations, I often feel a weird sense of connection with the person I’m speaking with. Sometimes I feel like I’m talking to a drunken uncle from back home: a man who seems to have the “best” advice on everything from women to finances. Other times I feel like I’m talking to a cousin: someone who’s having the same experiences as me, at the same time, and can relate to it all. And some occasions it feels like I’m talking to a younger brother from another: a guy new to Japan and just looking for some advice and direction. After the conversation has ended and we part ways, I’m still quite surprised at how much it felt like I was speaking to someone in my own family.

This unofficial connection shared between black people in Japan got me wondering if other foreigners sort of have that same, unspoken association with one another. I know I still get that awkward “Hey, you’re a gaijin too!” glance from foreigners in public; no matter the race. That subtle glance says a lot about how we as humans to just want to connect to that which feels familiar.

The idea of community can change when living abroad. Being so far away from my original community has gotten me to see that the idea doesn’t have to be limited to just close friends and family. In the end, we don’t have to be relatives to relate.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

This site is protected by reCAPTCHA - Privacy Policy - Terms of Service

  • Elsadig says:

    i used to be in Japan for 3 years and half. Wherever, I met someone who is African or African American. We use to greet each others by this word Hi bro…we may exhange some word..or have some chat

  • Jettoki says:

    Like I already thought, when the other related article about the nodding came out, I don’t really care about other foreigners in Japan. Of course I have my one, two friends from the same country, but those are people I actually have shared some experiences with. Either people I know from university, or i worked with. Nevertheless I don’t like hanging out with too many other foreigners, simply because I’m still improving my Japanese. It kinda feels weird to talk to other foreigners in Japanese, so most of the time, you kinda automatically switch back to English/German.

    For me, and that’s of course my very personal opinion, hanging out with other foreigners too much, makes it much more complicated to integrate into the Japanese community. And I’m well aware of the fact that most of the time you will never be able to fully integrate at all.



The Strange Thing Foreigners In Japan Do When They See Each Other

What do you do when you see another foreigner?

By 4 min read 103


Just a Color

The joy of teaching in Japan is what you can learn from your students.

By 3 min read 2


Why do Japanese women cover their mouth while laughing?

Have you ever wondered why Japanese women cover their mouth with their hand when they laugh or even smile?

By 2 min read 51