Last week, Twitter was flooded with Japanese users sharing breakup stories with a common theme—they all had a trivial reason at the center of the breakup. Some of them were so out there, they sound like they’re taken straight out of a sketch on Seinfeld.
The source for these stories was Twitter user @jiro6663, who uncovered a fascination for petty breakup stories after overhearing a college student tell her friend about a recent date that went sour.
— ジロウ (@jiro6663) June 12, 2019
He wrote, “Eavesdropped from college students chatting in a cafe: ‘In the middle of our date, he asked if he could go for a smoke. I was like, you mean this whole time we were enjoying talking, eating, watching a movie… there was a part of you just waiting for your next smoke? Just like that, I lost all interest.’”
After overhearing this story, @jiro6663 was hungry for more breakup stories, particularly ones sparked by a trivial event. To satisfy his new craving, he turned to Twitter to ask for more.
— ジロウ (@jiro6663) June 12, 2019
He explained, “I’m looking for any stories about girls brutally breaking up with guys for petty reasons. I need a pick-me-up.”
And Twitter delivered in droves with his tweet receiving nearly 56,000 retweets filled with stories about partner pet peeves, total turn-offs, and devastating dealbreakers.
Do Not Enter
One was written by a girl who broke up with a guy over the admittedly trivial issue of typing too loudly, but curiously only on one particular key:
She wrote, “He typed annoyingly loudly on just the enter key, and when I saw it I was immediately put off.”
Another Twitter user, @unamuhiduki, added a helpful visual representation of the phenomenon in the Twitter thread:
— ウナム日月 (@unamuhiduki) June 13, 2019
“Like this?” he wrote, including a picture of someone typing normally, “click, click, click…”, then suddenly, “CLIIIICK!!!”
Another woman shared her petty reason for breaking up with her sportsman suitor—his character of choice in Mario Kart. In a tweet since set to private, she explained, “My boyfriend in high school was a rugby player, but one time he came over to play Mario Kart and his main character was Peach. I was so turned off that I broke it off.”
That’s a bit harsh… after all, rugby players can be princesses too!
That’s not all-white
This next lady’s complaint was about her man’s unfortunate choice in undergarments.
— susej5 (@susej5) June 13, 2019
“He took his clothes off and when I saw he was wearing white briefs, I was horrified. ‘Maybe it’s just the one pair?’ I thought, but the next time he was also wearing white briefs and the next time… Eventually, I figured that was the only type of underwear he owned and broke up with him.”
Dang, this dude seriously has to step up his sexy underwear game.
Meanwhile, others had serious misgivings over issues that could only happen in Japan, including this woman whose beau purposefully misused the kanji 藁 (pronounced “wara,” meaning “straw”) as a substitute for the kanji 笑 (also pronounced “wara,” meaning “laugh” or “lol”) in an attempt (?) at a joke.
— りぱぅる (@riba_ktym) June 13, 2019
She wrote, “I was in high school and things were going pretty well with this one guy until he sent me a message saying, ‘I know, right? 藁 (straw kanji).’ I had no idea what he meant and replied, ‘What? Straw? What does that mean?’ ‘Oh,’ he responded, ‘It’s like 笑 (laugh kanji), but I use the 藁 kanji instead.’ Immediate turn-off.” So, it looks like bad dad jokes are a no-go in any language.
Sisters before misters
While some of these break-up reasons can be traced back to cultural reasons or quirky personal preferences, some are downright bizarre. Take this one for example—a breakup story that’s baffling beyond cultural boundaries:
— x_x_non_x_x (@x_x_non_x_x) June 13, 2019
“One of my girlfriend’s friends asked me out and I rejected her, but then my girlfriend says, ‘What, I’m good enough for you but my friend isn’t!?’ and broke up with me. I’m still stumped. It’s a Heisei era mystery that’s carried over into Reiwa.”
Truly a mystery for the ages—this petty reason for a breakup has us completely stumped, too!
Got any petty breakup stories you’ve overheard, or any of your own? Let us know in the comments!