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Tweet of the Week #128: Creepy Profiles Encountered On Japanese Dating Apps

Don't be this type of guy.

By Amélie Marie Nishizawa Apr 24, 2021 3 min read

Dating apps have done well in Japan, where even the government is looking into some AI magic to boost its birth rate. Nowadays, singles, young and old (and free spirits), have all dipped their fingers into the world of online dating.

But not all dates are worth the time or energy. Some may even be creepy enough that you’ll want to delete your app asap.

Akari (@akarirenai77) is a university student who tweeted about her experience with finding a boyfriend after matching with 200 men through dating apps. In a recent tweet, she shared the four worst guys she unfortunately encountered on her journey to find love.

The worst four

私の実体験から紹介する
マッチングアプリで出会ったやばい男性まとめ pic.twitter.com/rcgm5AOgjp

— あかり@レンアイ研究専攻 (@akarirenai77) April 1, 2021

私（わたし）の実体験（じったいけん）から紹介（しょうかい）する

マッチングアプリで出会（であ）ったやばい男性（だんせい）まとめ

“Based on my personal experience, here’s a summary of the worst men I’ve met through dating apps.

初電話（はつでんわ）で1時間（いちじかん）嫌味（いやみ）を言（い）うモラハラ男性
The moral harasser who made rude remarks for over an hour on our first phone call.
18歳（じゅうはっさい）の高校生（こうこうせい）が登録（とうろく）している
An 18-year-old high schooler.
初（はつ）デートでご飯（はん）を食（た）べに行（い）ったときわたしの料理（りょうり）を許可（きょか）なく食べる男性
The guy who ate my food without asking on our first date.
偶然（ぐうぜん）を装（よそ）うわたしの住（す）んでいる家（いえ）の最寄（もよ）り駅（えき）で待（ま）ち伏（ぶ）せしている男性
The guy who ambushed me at the nearest station to my place pretending it was a coincidence.”

Let’s talk about stalking

You may think she just hasn’t given you a chance, but you actually look at creepy as this guy.

The first three profiles are definitely not soulmate material, but the last guy is a potential stalker. Stalking is not specific to Japan, but it became recognized as a serious issue after the murder of Shiori Ino.

Cases such as this led to Japan’s Anti Stalking Act, and since then, authorities have been collecting data. The number of cases has steadily increased since 2002, but it can be a sign that victims feel more and more comfortable to speak up. In 2018, the Japanese police reported 21,556 stalking cases and 87.9% of the victims are women. The Japanese law has roughly defined eight categories of stalking behaviors under the legal expression つきまとい等（とう） (following, pursuing, etc.).

Go directly to a central police station and with a friend if possible.

Stalking (ストーカー行為（こうい）) is characterized by the repetition of these behaviors towards one person. Ambushing you near your home, following you to work, emailing or calling you repeatedly, sending you nasty packages or any other one-sided action displaying the pursuit of an intimate relationship is a criminal offense punishable by imprisonment and fines.

If you believe you are stalked, open up to people you trust. Take note of every event in a chronological journal and protect yourself with these practical tips for dealing with a stalker. If you are comfortable with the idea, contact the Japanese authorities. You can go to your local police box (こうばん), but police have been known not to take stalking seriously. If you feel this is the case, go directly to a central police station and with a friend if possible.

Essential vocabulary to know

Here are the eight categories of stalking behavior and associated vocabulary.

Following a person

Japanese	Romaji	English
つきまとう	tsukimatou	Follow
待（ま）ち伏（ぶ）せする	machibuse suru	Ambush
立（た）ちふさがる	tachifusagaru	Block the way
見張（みは）る	miharu	Guard, watch a place
押（お）し掛（か）ける	oshikakeru	Intrude (a workplace, at school…)

Letting a person know they’re being watched

Japanese	Romaji	English
監視（かんし）する	kanshi suru	Monitor
監視される	kanshi sareru	Being monitored
告（つ）げる	tsugeru	Tell (by phone, letter, email…)

Request to meet and date

Japanese	Romaji	English
面会（めんかい）	menkai	Meeting
交際（こうさい）	kousai	Date
要求（ようきゅう）する	youkyuu suru	Request

Violent speech and behavior

Japanese	Romaji	English
怒鳴（どな）られる	donarareru	Being yelled at
乱暴（らんぼう）な行動（こうどう）	ranbouna koudou	Violent behavior
粗暴（そぼう）な内容（ないよう）のメール	sobouna naiyou no meeru	Email with rough content

Repeat use of communication tools

Japanese	Romaji	English
無限電話（むげんでんわ）	mugendenwa	Silent phone call
連続（れんぞく）した電話	renzoku shita denwa	Consecutive phone call
何度（なんど）も電話をかけてくる	nandomo denwa o kaketekuru	Make phone calls many times
執拗（しつよう）に嫌（いや）がらせ	shitsuyouni iyagarase	Relentless harassment

Sending offensive package

Japanese	Romaji	English
汚物（おぶつ）	obutsu	Waste, filth
動物（どうぶつ）の死体（したい）	doubutsu no shitai	Dead animal
不快（ふかい）	fukai	Unpleasant, uncomfortable
嫌悪（けんお）の情（じょう）を催（もよお）させる	keno no jyou o moyoossaseru	Making one feels disgusted

Slander

Japanese	Romaji	English
中傷（ちゅうしょう）する	chyuushyou suru	Slander
名誉（めいよ）を傷（きず）つける	meiyo o kizutsukeru	Hurt one’s reputation

Sexual misconduct

Japanese	Romaji	English
わいせつな写真を送る	waisetsuna shashin o okuru	Send obscene picture
卑わいな言葉を告げる	hiwaina kotoba o tsugeru	Tell foul words (by phone, letter, message…)

More vocabulary

Japanese	Romaji	English
実体験（じったいけん）	jittaiken	Real experience
出会（であ）う	deau	Meet
初電話（はつでんわ）	hatsudenwa	First phone call
嫌味（いやみ）	iyami	Sarcasm
モラハラ	morahara	Moral harassment
初（はつ）デート	hatsu deeto	First date
偶然（ぐうぜん）	guuzen	Coincidence
装（よそ）う	yosou	Pretend
最寄（もよ）り駅（えき）	moyori eki	Nearest station