Tweet of the Week #130: Man Gets Stuck On a Bidet

If you live in Japan, you’ve probably experienced how well a high-tech bidet is at pampering our butts. There are more options and features than you can typically expect. However, their multifunction panels are sometimes anxiety-inducing if you aren’t comfortable with Japanese or even tech-savvy. Thankfully, a good Japanese toilet guide will save you from an embarrassing moment or flooding the floor such as seen below.

Trust us. Once you’ve experienced a bidet’s automatic heated seat and shower that has your behind feeling squeaky clean, you can never really go back to plain old toilet paper. Why the whole world has not embraced washlet technology yet is a mystery. 

Unfortunately, not all is perfect with the world of smart toilets, especially as technology is getting more advanced. Just ask user @YASUDAjumpei, who found himself stuck and contemplating if this was the beginning of humanity’s war with the machines.

Rise of the machines

海老名SAのトイレはWindowsタブで操作するハイテクトイレだが、尻を洗って止めようと思ったら再起動とかいってブラックアウトして、その間、尻を洗いっぱなし。このまま尻を洗われ続けて立ち上がることもできない人生かと不安になった。AIが暴走して言うこと聞かなくなる近未来の恐怖を体験した気分。 pic.twitter.com/YoZO6iso7O

— 安田純平 (@YASUDAjumpei) April 12, 2021

海老名（えびな）SAのトイレはWindowsタブで操作（そうさ）するハイテクトイレだが、尻（しり）を洗（あ）って止（と）めようと思（おも）ったら再起動（さいきどう）とかいってブラックアウトして、その間（あいだ）、尻を洗いっぱなし。このまま尻を洗われ続（つづ）けて立（た）ち上（あ）がることもできない人生（じんせい）かと不安（ふあん）になった。AIが暴走（ぼうそう）して言（い）うこと聞（き）かなくなる近未来（きんみらい）の恐怖（きょうふ）を体験（たいけん）した気分（きぶん）。

“The toilet at Ebina SA (a well-known service area on the Tomei Expressway, Kanagawa) is a high-tech Windows-operated version. After washing my butt, I tried to stop the shower, but it rebooted and the screen blacked out while the spray kept washing me. Unable to stand because of the shower, I became anxious about life. I feel like I’ve experienced the dread of the near future when AI goes out of control.”

How to use っぱなし

You add the suffix ぱなし to a verb stem to express that something has been left in a certain condition, in use or turned on—typically—unintentionally.

玄関（げんかん）のドアが開（あ）けっぱなしだ = “The entrance door has been left open.”

トイレの電気（でんき）がつけっぱなしでした = “The light had been left on in the toilet.”

水（みず）を出（だ）しっぱなしにしないでください= “Don’t leave the water running.”

彼女（かのじょ）は7時間（しちじかん）立（た）ちぱなしだった = “She stood for seven hours.”

Vocabulary

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